We interrupt this peaceful, easy feeling on a rainy Saturday morning to bring you this special news report…
Authorities were called to a home in central Nebraska this morning to reports that a feline resident of the home had turned herself inside out. Upon gaining entry to the home, they found Ruby, age unknown, sitting in the corner making what appeared to be a peace sign. Apparently, she had eaten something that didn’t agree with her, at which point the front of the cat fell off, unleashing approximately 20,000 gallons of a crude substance all over the northeast corner of the kitchen floor. Hazmat Team #6 said it was the most horrendous sight they had seen, and they have seen some serious stuff.
Ruby, who also identifies as “Raaaaaaaalllllllph”, had no comment, and her owner had no comment that can be printed here.
Back to you in the newsroom, Jim…